Sometimes Just Doing Things is More Important Than Doing Them Perfectly

 I find myself sitting and reading a copy of the Spring 2011 edition of Chickens magazine. It is actually not a magazine, more a quarterly publication of the Hobby Farms magazine. The subtitle is in fact, “Your Essential Poultry Publication”. I can't imagine that they find an entire booklet full of new information to publish regarding chickens four times a year, but the ads are absolutely fascinating.

I am often reading up on topics I never dreamed existed before. Since moving to our hobby farm with high aspirations of modern homesteading, we have discovered that the learning curve is quite steep. We have also learned that while doing things right is quite expensive, doing things good enough usually is, well, good enough. For example, we do not have a truck or trailer of any sort. We have a mini van with a back seat that comes out. Now, we want to be subsistance farmers, not start a major agribusiness so what to do when you want to pick up two milk goats that live 90 minutes away? Obviously, the answer is not “buy a truck and trailer”. So, with a scrap of plywood for a ramp, and a old roll of canvas tarp material in the back of my mini van we have aquired, from all over the state, the following animal menagerie: 7 ducklings, six Americuana hens (Omgosh they lay green and blue eggs), 9 barred rock hens and a rooster (who was supposed to be a hen when he grew up but turns out he was basically in drag), 10 ISA brown pullets, 5 mixed run Americuana chicks, a mated pair of geese (that turned out to be lesbians...both Linus and Lucy lay eggs), a calf, 2 Alpine goat kids, and (most interesting trip of all) two Nubian goat dams in milk.

So, what was I thinking as I rode home with two goats in the back of my van for an hour and a half? Initially, about raw organic grass fed goat milk, about selling goat milk shares, learning to make cheese, and getting to a point where we don't use grocery stores. At least for the first 15 minutes...that occupied my thoughts quite pleasantly. Then, I began thinking how loud they were, what a strong aroma was coming from my back seat, and what very large animals these were. Then, we passed their usual milking time in transit. They began to get more uncomfortable and vocal. Two angry 150 lbs animals were riding directly behind me, pooping in my van, demanding to be milked. Then it occurred to me...I milked a goat once when I was ten, a few squirts anyway, and I had read about it in my Back to Basics book and my copy of The Backyard Homestead and Mother Earth News. What if...I mean, it occurred to me it was possible, since I never really tried and all...what if I get these animals home, and can't figure out how to get the milk out? I pondered this during the last hour of the drive, feeling increasingly...concerned.

We arrived home after dark, and long after they should have been milked. I pulled them out of my van through the tailgate. The larger of the two looked me over skeptically. I reached out to calm her after her obviously distressing trip and she promptly stomped my sandal clad foot. I did not have a clue what a milkstand looked like, or that we did in fact already have one in the barn. I reached down to milk her and she kicked and pulled away. I tied a rope to her and had Chris hold it. I cornered her and we began this odd dance of kicking and trying not to get stomped while keeping her cornered, but I successfully got all her milk in the bucket. She then plopped her ugly poop covered hoof in the bucket of milk and flung the contents of the bucket (actually the bowl to my stand mixer...good enough, right?) all over me. I repeated this with the second goat and went to bed.

Since then, I have learned that you basically just pour a little grain into a feeder and lock their head into the milk stand and they peacefully munch while I effortlessly milk them. Making cheese has been delicious and worthwhile as well, and we certianly drink more milk these days. I would hate to go back to store bought milk now. I am glad I was foolish enough to try. If I had given into my fears and insecurities, or my impression of goats on that first milking, we would have really missed out. One day I hope to get adequate pasture fencing, because one of my favorite evening places to be is my beautiful wrap around porch facing the sunset...unfortunately this is also their favorite place to be. But, you make due with what you have, be willing to learn as you go, and scrape your porch regularly and for now, it may not be the right way to do things but it is good enough.