Have you ever wanted to say something appropriate, to convey empathy and comfort to a friend going through crisis? Maybe a serious loss, life altering medical diagnosis, trauma, or crime has occured. You find yourself either speechless or saying stupid hurtful cliches. (If you EVER find yourself saying "All things work together for good..." to a rape victim, or "It's probably better, the baby would likely have been deformed" to a grieving mother...smack yourself, read and print this list, carry it in your wallet)
Choose One that fits the situation, say it, and shut up for awhile. Tip your head to the side slightly and nod sympathetically when the person talks.
I'm sad with you over this situation.
I am sorry this happened to you.
I believe you.
You are safe here.
It is alright to mourn what you have lost.
It is normal to feel ________. (Whatever they seem to feel, betrayed, hurt, angry, sad, lonely)
I'm here to listen. (Then, you shut up and listen or it doesn't count)
I don't have the answers right now, but I'll help you find out.
Are you safe now?
How are you sleeping since ________ happened?
What are your concerns?
I'm glad you told me.
You are not alone, not anymore.
You didn't deserve to be treated that way.
You are not to blame.
You are not responsible for _______'s behavior.
I am so glad you survived it, you mean so much to me.
Can I pray with you?
What do you want to happen now and how can I help?
It is ok to feel angry sometimes...even healthy.
There will be better days ahead, hold on!
These are just a few of the safe things to say, to convey support and love. Try them out! It works so much better than saying something stupid!
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