Happy As A Hippo? Teaching Emotional Vocabulary at Any Age

People need to label emotions so they can handle them. If we are going to scold a child for the ornery look on their face, we should have already explained what angry or grumpy is. After all, they don't see their own face and if they don't have words to tell you how they feel, they will only have actions to show you how they feel. To really own something, you have to have a name for it. To have control over our emotions, we need to understand how to verbalize them...or they will own us. This is as much true of adults as it is children. I know a lot of people, men and boys especially, that have been neglected in being taught this, who can not identify any emotions past angry, happy, and sad. This essentially limits them to expressing mad, happy or sad feelings. So, here is my list of feelings. I encourage you to look through them. Pick a few, maybe a few every day, and think about what makes you feel that way, and start verbalizing your feelings in those terms. It will really help the people around you, and maybe you yourself, understand you better.

Mad. Angry. Astonished. Rage. Amused. Vengeful. Bitter. Sad. Depressed. Lonely. Confused. Elated. Happy. Joyful. Ornery. Cantankerous (I don't know if this is a word, but my mom says it to describe me frequently). Delighted. Shocked. Free. Inhibited. Subdued. Downcast. Discouraged. Disillusioned. Disappointed. Peaceful. At rest. Numb. Calm. Distraught. Disturbed. Sorrow. Despair. Disinterested. Interesting. Interested. Capable. Agitated. Awe. Reverence. Fear. Terror. Glamorous. Amorous. Inept. Incapable. Wounded. Unlovely. Unloved. Hopeful. Hopeless. Proud. Conceited. Relieved. Exhausted. Flat. Assured. Hurt. Encouraged. Inspired. Cheerful. Relaxed. Satisfied. Pleased. Charmed. Exhilarated. Excited. Stuck. Graceful. Lively. Brave. Courageous. Determined. Wavering. Uncertain. Insecure. Secure. Comfortable. Comforted. Sympathetic. Empathetic. Enthusiastic. Glad. Powerful. Empowered. Overpowered. Trapped. Stable. Unstable. Unsure. Playful. Sexy. Lascivious. Confident. Thrilled. Loved. Adored. Adoring. Loving. Superior. Inferior. Surprised. Cast aside. Forgotten. Forgetful. Forgiving. Anxious. Worried. Stressed. Accomplished.

The list could go on indefinitely. So, next time you have a fantastic day, and you tell someone you are happy...will they grasp what you mean, will you? It really downgrades what you are feeling when lack of emotional vocabulary has limited and taken away from your experience. The same is true of negative emotions...those yucky feelings in your gut that you need to talk out but words fail you...getting more words when words fail you will help you get through what you are feeling stuck in.

Read any good books lately...

           A friend of mine suggested that I write a book review, or perhaps a list of what  have found worth reading recently. To be fair, I still find time to read quite a bit. So, here it goes. This morning, I read a short but introspective book on emotions. It helped the reader to really look at what our moods look like and identify where we are 'at'. It was realistic in it's assessment of the feelings and it presented a wide range of them, and ended by encouraging that emotions will change and having a supportive community of friends around you will get you through the ups and downs. The final thought gives a nod to one exception to changing feelings, that the chronically angry and alone tend to stay that way. So, with this in mind I encourage you whole heartedly to reach out to those around you, let go of bitterness, and take the days events for what they are, knowing that every morning is a clean slate. I therefore highly reccomend this book. It is titled "Happy Hippo, Angry Duck" and is available in paperback or board book. Follow up reading to this book, if you have an afternoon naptime alone to spend in quiet reflection, could include "How I Feel" and "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". I strongly suggest identifying how you feel and sculpting the clay animal that best shows that emotion and fingerpainting how your face looks today. (Pictures of these to follow after craft time)