Men Worth Admiring Blog Entry #1 Dirk Willems: Compassion & Holding Firm in the Face of Adversity

              The year was 1569. The Reformation was underway, and the Papacy was savage in it's attempts to crush this uprising. Dirk Willems, an Anabaptist, surely had known others, heard stories, and seen executions carried out. He knew about the torture chambers, the racks that stretched and tore men's limbs from their sockets, removing ligaments and tendons from their proper places before the interrogations were through. Dirk sat in his dank prison cell, knowing what awaited him if he did not recant his beliefs, and knowing he couldn't deny his convictions. In moments of desperation and ingenuity, Dirk fashioned a rope out of rags and any scrap of fabric he could come by. He surely prayed for freedom as he worked, quietly so as not to be caught, and quickly so he would finish before they came for him again. Climbing from a prison window, he made it to the ground safely, and began his desperate flight.

             Catching sight of him, a jail guard came in quick pursuit. It was a mild winter day, but his path to freedom lay over a thinly iced body of water. So leaving certain death behind him, he rushed over the ice, with it's possibility of death looming. The guard, bent on recapturing his prisoner, perhaps fearing punishment himself if he let this troublemaker, who had spread his beliefs to so many, go free, followed him onto the fragile ice. Too late, his pursuer realized the ice would not hold him. As Dirk reached freedom and safety on the other side, the crackle of breaking ice and the cry of a doomed man rang out behind him. This could have seemed live justice, divine deliverance, the wicked perishing and the righteous going free. He could have thought that this was much like Pharaoh's armies drowning in the sea, while God's people stood safe on dry land. Turning back, Dirk knew that the state of this man's unrepentant soul was not ready to die and face Almighty God. Filled with compassion, he removed his coat and stretching out over the ice and holding onto one sleeve, he threw the other sleeve to the freezing drowning man. After pulling him to safety, he built a fire, dried and warmed the man, saving his life; and told the man what he had come to know and believe about God, likely saving his soul.

                   His oppressor had decided to let him go free, when from the other side of the water the prison warden called out to the guard to arrest and bring Dirk back into custody. In the end, Dirk was bound in chains by the one whose life he had saved, at the cost of his own. He was dragged back to a prison cell, interrogated, brutally tortured, tried before a bloodthirsty court, and sentenced to be burned at the stake. He did not recant his beliefs or waver in his convictions, but stood strong through the end. The day he was to be burned to death, a strong wind blew, so that the fire blew away from his body, slowly burning only his lower half, making his death unusually agonizing and torturously prolonged. In agony he called out to God again and again till even his accusors could stand the sound no longer and ordered the executioner to bring an end to it quickly, and had to turn away from the sight. Then, holding firm to everything he believed, Dirk Willems entered into God's presence a martyr, and lives forever beyond the reach of all suffering.

Nearing Home By: Billy Graham

You've got to admire someone who is willing to write a book like this about themselves. If it were not Billy Graham, it would seem presumptuous, almost vain. However, the tone of the book is completely humble, as Rev. Graham discusses with the reader what he has learned about life, faith and finishing well. He begins each chapter with a verse and a quote, all of which would be good to put to memory. I am not old, but I hope to be one day, and I think there is benefit to reading this book while you still are in the prime of life. I think, we should think more about what the end of life and the final years look like long before we find ourselves there.

I found the book readable, with a conversational tone. It was very easy going and confidently tackles a daunting topic without fear or awkwardness. Overall, I recommend the book. It might not be the best gift book for milestone birthdays, or what your Grandma really wanted for Christmas, but it's something we should all think about, because some of us are going to be lucky enough to get old before our last promotion.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my review.*
Buy it here:
http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?sku=9780849948329

Compassion For Dummies: A Cheat Sheet for the Emotionally Inept

Have you ever wanted to say something appropriate, to convey empathy and comfort to a friend going through crisis? Maybe a serious loss, life altering medical diagnosis, trauma, or crime has occured. You find yourself either speechless or saying stupid hurtful cliches. (If you EVER find yourself saying "All things work together for good..." to a rape victim, or "It's probably better, the baby would likely have been deformed" to a grieving mother...smack yourself, read and print this list, carry it in your wallet)

Choose One that fits the situation, say it, and shut up for awhile. Tip your head to the side slightly and nod sympathetically when the person talks.

I'm sad with you over this situation.
I am sorry this happened to you.
I believe you.
You are safe here.
It is alright to mourn what you have lost.
It is normal to feel ________. (Whatever they seem to feel, betrayed, hurt, angry, sad, lonely)
I'm here to listen. (Then, you shut up and listen or it doesn't count)
I don't have the answers right now, but I'll help you find out.
Are you safe now?
How are you sleeping since ________ happened?
What are your concerns?
I'm glad you told me.
You are not alone, not anymore.
You didn't deserve to be treated that way.
You are not to blame.
You are not responsible for _______'s behavior.
I am so glad you survived it, you mean so much to me.
Can I pray with you?
What do you want to happen now and how can I help?
It is ok to feel angry sometimes...even healthy.
There will be better days ahead, hold on!

These are just a few of the safe things to say, to convey support and love. Try them out! It works so much better than saying something stupid!

Healing Is a Choice By: Stephen Arterburn

“Healing Is A Choice” is a classic Christian self-help book. It was recently republished with some nice new elements to it, and here I am reviewing it. The basic premis of the book is that, healing is indeed a choice, that we can stay mired in our woundedness and fester, or we can choose to heal. This book highlights ten decisions that the author finds critical to make in the healing process, and ten lies that keep us from making those healing choices.

The new revised and updated version of this book incorporates the workbook into the book. I suppose this is handy, in that it keeps them together. However, being somewhat of a bibliophile, I like to keep my books clean and nice. If I really like a book, I like to pass it on to someone who will enjoy it or benefit from it as much as I did, and I like to pass it on in good condition. I also tend to mark up my workbooks, highlight, write in the margins, and journal about things I don't wish to pass along to my friends. So, for me, having the workbook in the text is a drawback.

Finally, I am not sure the book “works”. Maybe, I'm just not in a place to accept what it says. I'm ok with that possibly being the case. I am just not sure that healing is a choice. Sometimes, pain is inevitable, and there isn't much we can do to recover from some things. I think that is the brokenness of life that makes us long for our heavenly home, where we will be completely healed and eternally well in our bodies and souls. This is the healing I long for, that I don't think we often get this side of heaven. I think it is not a choice on our part really. We hold up nothing but empty wounded hands, and God graciously pours out blessings, forgiveness, grace, and healing because of the finished work of Christ on our behalf. I feel a bit ambivalent about the book, but it is well written, and it may be my own woundedness that keeps me from recommending it whole heartedly.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?sku=9780785232438

His Eye is On the Sparrow....

Last night was one of those difficult nights. I was in pain, and alone, and very easily could have given into despair. It was cold, windy and stormy. Life has been uncertain and overwhelming lately, and God felt very far away. I began to wonder if God had created me for pain, to be an object of his wrath, because this life has been very hard. I called out to God, and told him how much it hurts, how alone I feel, and all the questions racing through my unquieted mind. There was no answer, and I laid down in bed, to listen to the storm outside. I closed my eyes and listened to it rage and howl all around me, while I was safe and warm; and I felt peace envelope me. It was not quite like a blanket. Some of you may feel uncomfortable with me saying so, but I felt arms wrap around me, just as tangible as if someone were laying next to me. All my fear just left, and I rested, really deeply relaxed and rested.

Then, I heard a song bird, in the dark, in the cold fall weather, at night in the pouring rain...I thought, "this is trippy, I really am hallucinating now. It is the wrong season, weather and time of day for songbirds". I opened my eyes, and just on the other side of my window, between my pillow and my glass of ice water...was this:

He stayed and sang till the storm was done. Matthew 10:28-31 says "²⁸ Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. ²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.^{[a] 30} And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."

What an incredible reminder of God's faithfulness and provision. He cares, and I'm His, and nothing on earth can take away one second of one day that He has preplanned for me. I have all the time I need to accomplish everything He has for me to do, and I have all the resources to complete the work He has for me and do it well. There is nothing I lack, that he does not already have. There is no crisis, or strained relationship, or economic hardship, loss, or medical diagnosis that can surprise Him. I have no suffering that He can not redeem, God doesn't waste time, or pain. More importantly, He doesn't waste the lives of His children. I was created for a purpose, and I am loved, known, seen, cared for, and don't need to fear. I am resting in the arms of my Father, who loves me.

Why Men Hate Going to Church

The basic premise of this book is that men hate going to church, unless they are particularly effeminate to begin with. He argues that men don't talk, think or act this way under normal circumstances. He paints a clear picture of what it means to be male, with very broad sweeping strokes. I have a few books on manhood that I would LOVE to recommend to the author, Mr. David Murrow.

While gang members and prison inmates may not relate to one another as we do in church, business men and corporate executives might. There is more to manhood than machismo. One can not say that compassion for one another is feminine or soft, for example. Our love for one another is how we are to be differentiated from the rest of the world. The analogy is made that Sunday morning church is like a prostate exam. It may save your life, but no one is looking forward to it. I suggest young men aren't in church because they don't want to be told what to do. Nothing offends a young mans fragile ego than being told he is not the ultimate authority. I think this accounts for why young men in their 20's are so under represented in the church. Real men don't whine and make excuses about what they don't like, they follow the example of Jesus and humbly serve those around them in love. That may not sound macho, but this isn't a locker room competition, this is real life. It's time for men to be man enough to unashamedly love their church.

*I was received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review*

Buy it here:

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Hate-Going-Church/dp/078523215X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310582055&sr=1-1

Life, In Spite of Me

"Life, In Spite of Me" is the story of Kristen Jane Anderson. Everyone has a story. I particularly enjoy hearing those that have the theme of redemption written all over their lives. I firmly believe that God doesn't waste pain, even the most horrendous experiences shape and mold us into who God wants us to be. God redeems our suffering. Kristen's story is full of suffering, psychological suffering, deaths, emotional pain, and rape drive her to the breaking point. She tries to commit suicide, and yet her life is spared. In the process she loses both legs. How can this possibly be a story of redemption? Can anything ever make up for this kind of pain? Is there ever hope in this kind of agony? As you read this book, you would think that there is no way out of this situation, and no way to make it livable, and then God steps in. It begins to be clear where the hand of God has been on her life through it all, and how he has a good plan for her life, a plan to prosper her and not to harm her. She goes on to do beautiful things, and build a life, that she may have never had with her legs. I recommend you read the book if you want to know the rest! Enjoy!
*I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review*